Motivaiton and Life Choices

              I have come to the conclusion there are basically two different types of motivation, smart and stupid. No, this isn’t some new psychological theory on motivation that will make history. That’s not to say that something that motivates an individual is stupid, for me it means the motivation results in what I call a poor life choice. My poor life choices often result consequences such as stress fractures, flair ups of tendonitis, and sometimes hospital visits. I try not to make poor life choices but every once in a while I do. So while I have these goals that I have set, I have another side goal: make minimal “life choices.” I start with talking about life choices, because I haven’t exactly met my goal for this week. I don’t want to condone the use of excuses, I believe they are a way of self-sabotage; however, I also believe that over-doing it is just as bad as self -sabotage. I don’t believe in being perfect either. So where is the line of all of these standards? I’ll let you know when I find it. For now I made decisions this week that will hopefully benefit me more in the long run versus the alternative of long term harm.

                The week started out great! I biked a 10 mile ride on Sunday and got in some strengthening on Monday. On Tuesday I was determined to do a 20 mile ride, which later became a life choice that thankfully I don’t regret fully. I should have known when my insane father wasn’t going to go for a bike ride the weather was not anything I should ride in. I wasn’t too concerned about the cold, and I figured the wind would only suck in that it would make me work harder. Within the first 5 miles of my ride I crossed the highway on a bridge, and quickly learned that the wind could really push me wherever it wanted. I could have turned back but I didn’t, I had made a commitment. I listened to my music and mouthed lyrics until I reached trees that blocked the wind a little bit. I made it another 5 miles and was headed into Windsor, CO, when a semi passed me going 50-60miles an hour and the wind hit me like none other. I once again almost fell over, but I kept going. I mapped my route home from my pit stop while seriously considering calling for a ride home. I got on my bike and headed north, now officially into the wind. At 18 miles I decided the sun had gone away, it was 39 degrees without wind chill, and I was losing more and more control of my bike. It was time to call mom. I was pretty bummed that I only had a 7 or 8 miles to get home, but I realized that I would much rather be able to bike the next day than to not be able to bike again.

I told yout it was cold. I might as well have been skiing with the clothes I was wearing.

                On Wednesday, I celebrated Christmas with my wonderful family. It was a great holiday even with the cold passing around the family. I had managed to avoid getting sick the first week from my mother, but by Wednesday Rachel was three days into being sick, and by Thursday I woke up with a sore throat. I managed to go for a short ride with my Dad on Thursday which was originally going to be a much longer pedal. We we’re set to leave at noon, which turned into 12:20, than we stopped to get my odometer adjusted at the bike store, putting us at 12:30 departure time. A mile into the ride I got my fifth flat in the past 6 months. We quickly turned around to get that fixed. At 1pm, Dad pointed out if I I did my full 35mile goal I would be finishing after dark, so I minimized the goal. At this point I wasn’t feeling too crappy but not 100% either. We pedaled 5 miles in and my foot was hurting much more than it should, I wasn’t in my “zone of motivation” and I had too much doubt in my head. I decided to turn around and I would do my 35 miles the next day. Friday and Saturday have gone to being sick, though its not impossible for me to exercise right now 3 hours or even an hour outside in the cold is enough to make my lungs and foot scream. Some of you at this point might be thinking that I might have some sense of responsibility, don’t worry I still have intentions of being ridiculous next week.

 I’m not concerned about doing a century on February 8^th, but I still have ambition to do maybe 50. Hopefully I will be at an EMS conference on the 8^th and will have to pedal a different day.

I am incredibly happy to report that I am on track with the whole30 despite the holidays and being sick. I have officially gone over 2 weeks without sugar in any of my foods including as an ingredient form of any of the –oses, accept of course natural fruit sugar. I don’t desperately want to eat junk to fill myself; I have however hit some of the psychological barriers with dependence on certain foods this week especially with tradition of Christmas. I asked my mom not to give me any food in my stocking this year, which was very helpful, but I certainly had a moment of missing the tradition of having the orange chocolates, and everything else that the rest of the family had. I gladly enjoyed some hard boiled eggs and lunch meat (crazy I know!). I got an amazing book from Tess that has some awesome recipes fully whole30 safe and great for once I’m also done with the whole30 to continue to eat foods that make me feel good.

The life lessons of the week came down to: 1. I have control over what I eat, and can really consistently make good choices. 2. Not every ride is going to happen the way I want it too. 3. I will keep getting back on the bike until I make my goal safely.

When it comes down to it getting through the past week has been about taking it one day at a time and one challenge at a time. I didn’t touch a drop of sugary sweets of the 6 plates that came to our house, the two pies, or even the egg nog. I did this because I knew what I wanted and was driven to not sabotage my goal because I had doubt. I once told a friend that she was so positive and supportive and never not supportive. She responded we beat ourselves up enough already, I don’t need to do that for you. This wasn’t the first or last time I’ve thought about negative thoughts, but positive mental attitude is a huge factor in why I accomplished what I did this week.  I didn’t finish my 35 miles, mainly because I was afraid to really try from my own doubt that was supported by others doubting it as well. I hope for this next week I am stronger with my confidence and continue to me smart with my life choices.