I'm Still Learning

If you choose to read this post there are a few things that I ask.

1.      `.Don’t feel the need to give me pity. Messages of support, and encouragement are always welcome; however, I do not need pity. I am incredibly happy and have a phenomenal support system as well. Thank you for your support in whatever realm that looks like.

2.       Please do not give me any message of criticism. I already am well aware of the consequences for the choices I make and I am not sharing all of the details that led to the choices that were made.

3.       Thank you for taking the time to read this and I appreciate that. Feel free to share, but please do so kindly.

-               Throughout this following post to my blog I will frequently be thanking various people who have been there in incredible ways for me over the past couple weeks. The function of this post is mainly for the benefit of myself to cope with what has happened over the past couple of weeks; however, if there is a benefit to the public, great.

On Saturday 11/08/2014, I went up to Glacier View to stay with a friend who I would be dogsitting for throughout the following week. The friend and I are very well prepared in how to handle my health issues in the event of emergencies and very good at doing so such that I am safe and we do not risk anything.  Though I have had some respiratory issues over the past month due to viruses going around I was confident that I would be okay that night. We had a great time watching a movie and talking before she would leave for several weeks and I am incredibly grateful for the moments we shared despite the outcome. I woke up at approximately 3am and felt not so great. After putting on the pulse ox and trying to take a couple of deep breaths I realized something was going on.  My oxygen saturation was in the 70s-80s and not going up any higher and only in the 80s when I was sitting down. After waking my friend and calling the pulmonologist we quickly decided to start down the mountain and stop at a fire station to get evaluated and some oxygen, hoping we would still be able to drive ourselves down. The situation rapidly became dynamic such that my I was then connected to an ambu bag via my trach and being assisted with ventilations though still very conscious. As my face began to swell there was limited concern as I already have an airway. An ambulance from Poudre EMS was dispatched and a helicopter (from what I understand, some details may not be as accurate). Medications were administered by myself in order to eliminate the swelling though this was temporarily effective and my saturations still continued to be low especially during peaks of swelling. The crews that were in charge of the situation made the executive decision to fly me out; though, I was not happy about this at the time I am grateful that they were willing to make that call for my own safety. I was treated incredibly well in the PVH ER and the pulmonary team and ER docs were comfortable with letting me go after several hours knowing that nothing they could do in the hospital would be different from what I do at home at that time.

I continued to follow up with docs throughout the week and we came up with a list of blood work to be done which has thus far come back normal. This past weekend I went down to Brighton (feeling well) to dogsit and at the end of the day decided that it would be in my best interest to go to a clinic to get some steroids on board either IM or IV to hold me over through the night. Thankfully incredibly dear friends were with me and we went to an ER where I ended up being admitted overnight and discharged the next day. Though there were some bumps in the road overall I could not be more grateful for the friends that were there that evening and day.

        Tonight I am at home and resting lots. I am considering my options for the rest of the semester. I fully expect a quick recovery once my body gets over this virus and everything stabilizes again. I have had four amazing months where I have learned more and more about my body’s limitations and what I can do safely and what may not be as safe. I am most grateful for not having had to be in the ER every other day or fear I might lose my airway; however, I have also realized the trach doesn’t fix every problem that I do have.

                In reality I am still a healthy 20 year old girl and am not disabled, my normal is different than your normal and that places me in a category in our society. I am just as competent and capable as my peers. I plan to still pursue my EMS jobs that I have been looking into and have been cleared to do so by all of my doctors. I already see the top doctors in the nation if not the world. I have been down just about every avenue including nutrition, and psychological care so I am not exactly interested in hearing about miracle diets. I am very good about cooking for myself and I am attempting to lose weight however you may catch me on a day that am swollen day or on steroids so yes I look a little fatter than the girl you knew in high school or whatever. I also know that I am finally happy with my body and accept myself for where I am at today and know that I want to be in better shape again. I am doing everything in my power including resting (I know crazy! Julia resting? What is this), seeing a nutritionist, personal trainer, multiple doctors, acupuncturist, physical therapist and etc.

                If you’re wondering what you can do for me there are a couple things. Feel free to text me and come watch a movie while I’m on rest mode (note: do not do this if you yourself are sick unless you are not contagious). I am always looking for people to study basic biology with and basic chemistry. Please don’t tell me you don’t think I should pursue EMS, pursue medical school, or whatever advice you want to give that is encouraging I have enough people that fill that role. Feel free to encourage me to take time pursuing all of these things and take the appropriate steps to be safe. Lastly pay it forward. Even in my worst of health times I have always been one to give to others but not necessarily can. Right now a few friends and are collecting supplies to make blankets for the pediatric floors at MCR and PVH. You can always make treats (preferably throw something healthy into the mix) for your local ems providers whether that be fire or medical too. Thank those in your life who put others before them.

                Finally, I cannot thank the individuals in my lives especially my parents in letting me continue to live my life to the fullest and let me figure out the limitations along the way. My parents are truly incredible individuals and deserve so much that I hope I can return someday down the road. My friends both medical and non-medical are also incredibly supportive. Lastly my instructors at Front Range community college have been phenomenal in advocating for my completion of courses successfully and supporting me throughout this roller coaster. Thank you to the flight crew, ambulance crews, docs, nurses, and non-medical individuals for making my life possible. 

PS. I did not thoroughly edit as I should have so feel free to send edits to me at julesandjoules@gmail.com. Or send any other commentary.